I hate that it's so hard. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. Energetically speaking, however, how long do you stay attached to the body before you cross over? My mom was a very low-key, not a "LOOK AT ME!!!" Guilt can deeply impact the accuracy of these memories. Toward an Ethic of Cremationfor the Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society. One of the pros is that cremation is far cheaper than the traditional burial. Copyright @ Grieving.com 2023 But are funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains? If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes a shell, incapable of registering pain. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. At this point, I realized that my witty joke had probably done more harm than good. A nice roaring funeral pyre in the forest with some Celtic music playing in the back would be welcome too. Urn. He was dead serious. Your spirit guides will help you get what you desire in life. The Catholic Church was anti-cremation up until about fifty-years ago. C. S. Lewis and Mrs. Moore: Relationship of Sin or Sanctification? And they took their bonesand buried them underthe tamarisk tree in Jabesh andfasted seven days. Those of us who arent Jewish have a lot to learn from Jewish burial practices, specifically as it relates to home funerals and green burials, but most of us, like myself, simply dont believe that burning a body is violating G-ds creation. The consensus among most Christian traditionsincluding evangelicalsis that because the Bible does not directly forbid cremation, it is not a sin. Regardless of the cause of death, or the state of your relationship at the time of their death, you can easily become overwhelmed with survivors guilt, knowing that you were spared while they were not. Its something that each individual experiences differently. None of these references reflects the normative funerary practices of Gods people. The deceased feel NO pain. It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, if they are offered a chance to do so. I would NEVER select cremation as a To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. Luckily, our time for feeling pain in our current bodies is over when we die. The deseased bodies feel no pain. The mind is gone and the spirit has Thats why the mind begins searching for answers, because it hates the chaos that results from something it cant explain. In a roundabout way, he may have been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance. When you recognize the guilt youre feeling is toxic, REJECT that guilt. I agree that the whole process was weird. Keep in mind that there are stages of grief, and guilt is one of them. I dont believe in heaven and Im not really a spiritual person, so I decided on a general cremation for my dog. What Moral Norm(s) Apply in This Situation? Cremation is safe for your soul. I'm in a dilemma because I feel not taking them home isn't fair on him. It can be challenging to interrupt this cycle of negative thinking, and yet finding a way to do so is crucial to the healing process. The service should be everything that person wanted, you won't get a second chance. For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. If youve recently lost a loved one, cremation urns are a way to keep their memory alive. He had basically gone. 1:23), but the body that remains still belongs tosomeone,someone we love, someone who will reclaim it one day. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. Even with closure, it can be very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts. Within a few hours the body is vaporized andreduced to bone fragments. Someone might feel guilty for not being a donor match, for not calling or visiting more often, or for not doing more to prevent the death (such as in the cases of depression, suicide, or substance abuse ). In turn, this helps us stop feeling guilty after eating, because we stop eating too much altogether. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. woman, and didn't want an open casket ceremony. If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes $368. It doesn't unnerve me. In fact, I remember that when her ashes were delivered to our house, the cats ran about and headed up to her room--as if they knew she had arrived back home. Memory is another aspect of the human experience where the mind is involved in the grieving process. Its important to It is a strange feeling to have them because I feel as if she has yet to move on and having the urn I thought I moved on but once I received it all the feelings rushed back. After the pastor and I sat in silence for a couple minutes, the Pastor piped back up:, I feel so strongly about this topic that Ive preached a sermon series on it.. My mom was cremated and I'm so glad because She didn't want to be look at or gawked at. Costs vary quite a bit depending on the size and material quality. Why feel guilty about not visiting the gravesite? Only if they arent actually dead. Survivors guilt might seem like a ridiculous emotion to some individuals, yet its very real for many people. After all, within the Christian tradition funerals aren't simply ways of disposing of dead bodies, nor are they about remembering the departed or expressing grief. Also,some believe that cremation doesnt hurt the deceased but burning the body is disrespect of the deceased .On the other hand, followers of cremation believes that letting the micro-organisms eats the body parts is the disrespect of the deceased There are many ways, and they all hold value Author has 24K answers and 167.6M answer views 4 y Often people who die suddenly dont figure it out right away or resist accepting that they have died, so they hover around their body trying to make sense of their current situation. The only other references to cremation are in the book of Amos (2:1 and 6:8-10). This results in mental confirmation of guilt and remorse. The question is not whether God can reassemble cremains. The question is whether burial is a Christian act and, if so, then what does it communicate? Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. Fortunately, the information contained in this article can help speed up the process. But its not only pastors who take this stance; two of the major world religions and some branches of Christianity also disallow cremation. For instance, Jewish law is unequivocal that a body must be buried. I am sorry you had family upset during such a difficult time. [Reviewed and updated December 28, 2022.] And though its difficult for people not emotionally connected to the situation to understand, survivors guilt is a very real phenomenon that can often require years to overcome. The linked version has been posted with the journals permission.). I hope you are all doing okay, if you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me. 4. I believe in Heaven and God, so I feel that if you're cremated, how the heck do you get a resurrection body with your body crumbled to little gray pieces? But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. Everyone person on earth has experienced guilt at one time or another. 12:7), MacArthur adds, So cremation isn't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation.. All of your consciousness is in your spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form. Then the child feels guilt for feeling these negative emotions towards the mother. Before choosing cremation because of cost, Christians should consider more affordable burial options. I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! 3. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. Ultimately, the mind wants answers to problems. This is the typical cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation. Tarria was the glue that held our family together. My oldest sister who happens to live in a different state received them and she finally gave them up to me. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. I wish every day that she could come back to me. Trapped in your now lifeless shell? Because the average grave spot (i.e., funeral plot) costs $1,000 and the digging of the grave costs $1,000, the cost of burial can be about equal to the cost of cremation. She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. I was sort of surprised she would even think that was possible. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Trapped in your now lifeless shell? $295. This is what I was recently told by a Pastor who was scolding me for offering cremation to ourcustomers. In contrast, Russell Moore counsels Christians to reject cremation: The question is not simply whether cremation is always a personal sin. If more grave spots were located on church properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot. , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976- 100100 6 , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 100 6 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 6 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 1- ( }, | 0096176817976 : , ( )| 0096176817976 : 1)-, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| : , 0096176817976| : . http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. Grief is a complicated process. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. However, if you think of the body as just an empty vessel after death, which many people do, the idea of cremation can be very appealing. After all, guilt is a natural emotion. Having said this, He breathed His last. The body is cremated immediately after death. You will engage the services of a crematory, bypassing the expense of a funeral home. The body can be cremated in a simple cardboard container. No memorial service is held. No embalming or other preparations of the body are necessary because there is no service, viewing, or wake. I told my mom I wanted to be cremated so I didnt take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land. Everyone person on earth has experienced guilt at one time or another. By letting her decide, you don't have to plan or feel guilty did u do enough. This might seem odd, but its actually very common. If you like my writing, consider buying my 2017 Nautilus Book Award Gold Winner, Confession of a Funeral Director (click the image to go to the Amazon page): This entry was posted by Caleb Wilde on July 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm, and is filed under Embalming vs. Cremation. How does one come to grips with this grim reality? Guilt then becomes and uses these terms of services Terms of Use. After all, where do thoughts come from? I'd hate to think that's life on Earth is just it. A common reason why Christians choose cremation is to avoid the expense related to funeral service andburial. Powered by Invision Community. It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. David Jones, professor of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, outlines three questions we should consider: 1. Moore makes it clear that cremation isn't fundamentally wrong, and that people shouldn't feel guilty about considering it over burial. The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. Quick summary: If youre afraid of gaining weight when you stop dieting, focus on the Stop, Drop, & Feel first and foremost. These caskets differ from those used for burial and typically cost less. Discomfort with decomposition: Cremation seems quicker and cleaner. I believe Coping with guilt takes practice, awareness, reflection, and self forgiveness. This refers to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died. Theres a number of funeral directors who conveniently, albeit privately, believe that cremation is wrong. Factors such as the location and manner of death, nation-specific legal parameters, as well as the resources of the surviving family will bear on funerary practices and decisions. Almost every state also allows for a natural burial, which allows the body to be interred without having to pay the cost of a vault. Financial concerns: Cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. I do plan on scattering some of them where he asked me to. Or perhaps you only perceive that you wronged the individual. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. Some feel that its disrespectful or that it deprives the family of the sense of closure that comes from viewing the body in the casket. What about Christians who cant afford non-cremation options? 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